For Happy Marriage, we have discussed in my earlier blog “Increase Happiness in Your Relationships”, that there is only one single rule:
“UNDERSTAND THE OTHER AND ACCEPT THE WAY HE/SHE IS”
In this article we shall discuss the 4th recommendation for Happy Marriage.
You may see my earlier three recommendations on Conquer The Success Blogs .
RECOMMENDATION 4: Give & Take Feedback Positively
As a Marriage Counselor, another common reason of unhappiness among couples, that I have experienced is that we lack the art of Taking & Giving feedback.
Every Person Has Good & Bad qualities
When two people live together, it is very natural that we would observe certain GOOD things in our partner and certain BAD things.
We know that every person has good & bad qualities.
Unfortunately, we have been conditioned from early childhood that we should not say bad things to anyone.
Now what happens.
In the new relationship or the courtship period, we comfortably communicate “The Good” of our partner but, because of our conditioning, we hesitate to communicate “The Bad”. And the relationship continuous happily.
Slowly & steadily, the list of “The Bad” keeps on increasing in our subconscious mind, with our hesitation to communicate.
I am sure; you would have heard people saying “If I tell him the truth, he will feel bad. He is not matured enough to listen the truth”.
Since we are only communicating “The Good”, we are giving him an impression that he is good. I like him very much.
Your partner also does the same
Now if you see from your partner’s perspective. He is also having the same conditioning and hence behaving similar to you.
Only communicating what he likes about you and not what he dislikes.
You also get to have the impression that you are good.
As the relationship grows older
As the relationship grows older, this accumulated “The Bad” in our subconscious mind starts to cast its shadow.
So much of “The Bad” would have accumulated by now in your subconscious mind that “The Good” is not even visible.
Since, we were only communicating “The Good” till now, the communication reduces.
The other starts to get the impression that I have changed.
You would have heard people saying “You are not like before, you have changed. Now you do not love me as before”
It is happening with both.
As a result, both start adjusting with each other and reduce talking or communication.
Avoidance become very common. Both of them will keep themselves busy in other activities so that they have little time left for the other.
Movie remains the only safe means of entertainment because you are together and still no opportunity to talk to each other.
The Outburst
And unfortunately, a day comes when all this accumulated negative emotions, “The Bad” outburst in the form of anger. And when the outburst happens, it take away the relationship, family, kids, everything.
And it is not that very day when the outburst happens, but all the time collectively, when we have been accommodating “The Bad”.
It is neither uncommon nor surprising that people go for divorce every after 10 or more years of marriage.
A line of caution before the recommendations
Before I proceed with my recommendations, I want to caution you, that these recommendations are for you and not for your partner.
As a marriage counselor, it is my very common experience that people use these recommendations not to change themselves but to evaluate the partner’s mistakes and logically prove him wrong.
Please do not do that.
The Recommendation
I would recommend the following.
- Give an environment to your partner where he feels equally comfortable and at ease in giving positive as well as negative feedback to you. Ask for your improvement areas. Motivate him to do so. Tell him that feedback improves the relationship.
- Do not react differently, if he shares any negative feedback or communicate what he feels bad about you.
- When you find something wrong, give him the feedback in very positive, respectable, polite and healthy manner; with the intention only to communicate your feelings and not to make him feel bad or guilty.
If you find these recommendations sensible, then do not wait.
Immediately, start implementing in your life.
I am sure; if you practice, your marriage life can really be a happy & a fulfilling experience.
My TV Interview Clip on the subject
Stay connected,
I will come up with my next recommendation in my next blog.
Attend Training for Happy Marriage: Mere Humsafar
If you are seeing someone or already married, we invite you to attend Mere Humsafar Training. It is one day workshop that will make your marriage life happy & a life-long fulfilling experience.
This training covers the following aspects:
- Know yourself. There is a psychometric test to know about your personality and hence your natural behavior.
- Different personality types and there normal behavior. It shall help to know your partner better.
- Understand your partner.
- Practical tips to deal with the persons of different personalities & keeping happy relataions.
As an outcome of this training, you will experience that ACCEPTING HIM THE WAY HE IS SHALL BE SPONTANEOUS.
You may visit our website and attend our other TRAINING WORKSHOPS.
Marriage Counseling & Premarital Counseling
We also provide Relationship counseling sessions for Married Couples and for those who are seeing each other.
Individuals or couples can contact for counseling.
Choose the Right Life Partner
If you are not married yet and are looking for a right life partner, we can help you, through psychometric testing, training & counseling, to select the right life partner and enlighten you as to how to handle the differences.
If you have any queries, please Sign Up our Discussion Forum and post your query there.
We request you to please give your feedback in comment box, whether you like the blog or not or any feedback & suggestions. This shall give a direction whether or not to continue writing on Happy Married Life.
You may also let us know any other topic of your interest in the comment box or discussion forum.
We shall try to take it up in the future communications.
Wish you a very Happy Married Life;
With love & regards,
Dr. Pankaj Gupta
9953799435
I am sure this piece of writing has touched all the internet viewers, its really really fastidious post on building up new webpage.
I’ve been surfing online more than 4 hours today, yet I
never found any interesting article like yours.
It’s pretty worth enough for me. In my view,
if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be much more useful than ever before.
It is appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to
be happy. I’ve read this post and if I could I desire to suggest you some interesting things or suggestions.
Perhaps you could write next articles referring to this article.
I want to read even more things about it! http://cspan.org
Thanks Mr. Jim for your lovely & positive feedback.
Your feedback gives me motivation to keep writing further on Happy Relationship.
I will sure be writing on this topic.
Secondly, it would be my honor to have your valuable suggestions.
Do write to me.
Thanks once again.
Google
Sites of interest we’ve a link to.
Google
Here are some links to web pages that we link to since we consider they may be worth visiting.
I’m not sure where you are getting your information, but great topic. I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thanks for excellent info I was looking for this information for my mission.
You are most welcome.
Wish you all the best
Remarkable! Its truly awesome paragraph, I have got much clear idea concerning from this
article.
Ahaa, its fastidious conversation concerning this article at this place at this blog,
I have read all that, so at this time me also commenting
at this place.
Hello everyone, it’s my first pay a visit at this site,
and article is genuinely fruitful designed for me, keep up posting these types of content.
Very nice write-up. I certainly appreciate this site. Keep it up!
Great beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your site, how could i subscribe for a
weblog web site? The account helped me a applicable deal.
I had been a little bit familiar of this your broadcast offered vibrant transparent concept
If you would like to take a great deal from this post then you have to apply these
strategies to your won blog.
I was more than happy to discover this site. I want to to thank you
for your time due to this wonderful read!! I definitely loved every bit of it and
i also have you saved as a favorite to check out new things on your website.
When some one searches for his necessary thing, so he/she
wants to be available that in detail, thus that thing is
maintained over here.
Every weekend i used to pay a quick visit this web page,
because i want enjoyment, as this this site conations actually fastidious funny data too.
I would like to thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this blog.
I really hope to check out the same high-grade blog posts
by you in the future as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has motivated me to get my own site
now 😉
Piece of writing writing is also a fun, if you be acquainted with
after that you can write or else it is difficult to
write.
Great blog here! Also your site loads up fast! What host are you using?
Can I get your affiliate link to your host?
I wish my site loaded up as fast as yours lol
Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it.
Look advanced to more added agreeable from you! By
the way, how could we communicate?
Aw, this was an incredibly good post. Spending some time and actual effort to
generate a really good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a lot and don’t seem to get anything done.
Heya i’m for the first time here. I found this board and I find It really useful & it helped
me out much. I hope to give something back and aid others like you aided me.
First of all I want to say superb blog! I had a quick question that I’d like to ask if you don’t mind.
I was curious to find out how you center yourself and clear your mind
before writing. I’ve had trouble clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts out there.
I do enjoy writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are lost just trying to figure out
how to begin. Any suggestions or hints? Thanks!
Hey I am so grateful I found your weblog, I really found you by
accident, while I was searching on Yahoo for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just
like to say thank you for a marvelous post and a all
round thrilling blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read it all
at the minute but I have bookmarked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so
when I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the fantastic
b.
It’s hard to come by experienced people
on this subject, however, you seem like you know what
you’re talking about! Thanks
Great blog you have got here.. It’s hard to find good quality
writing like yours these days. I really appreciate people
like you! Take care!!
Wonderful work! This is the kind of information that are supposed to be shared around the internet.
Disgrace on the seek engines for no longer positioning this put up upper!
Come on over and talk over with my website . Thank you =)
I am extremely inspired with your writing talents and also with the structure for your
weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself?
Either way stay up the excellent high quality writing, it’s rare to peer a nice weblog like this one nowadays..
I needed to thank you for this excellent read!!
I definitely loved every bit of it. I have got you saved as
a favorite to look at new things you post…
If you are going for finest contents like myself, just go to see this web page daily since it
gives quality contents, thanks
What’s Taking place i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve found It absolutely useful and
it has aided me out loads. I hope to contribute & help other users
like its aided me. Great job.
Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an really long comment but
after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear.
Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyhow, just
wanted to say fantastic blog!
It’s awesome to pay a visit this web site and reading the views of all mates concerning this post, while I am also eager of getting
experience.
Hey I am so excited I found your weblog, I really found you by mistake, while I was looking on Askjeeve for something
else, Regardless I am here now and would just like
to say thanks for a remarkable post and a all round entertaining blog
(I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read through it all at the moment but I
have bookmarked it and also added your RSS feeds, so
when I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please
do keep up the fantastic jo.
Wow, awesome blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site is magnificent, let alone the
content!
Fantastic items from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff prior to and you’re simply too magnificent.
I really like what you’ve received right here, really like what you’re stating and the way in which through which you assert it.
You make it entertaining and you continue to care for to keep it wise.
I can not wait to learn far more from you. That is actually a
tremendous web site.