Role of Personality Types for Happy Marriage

MARRIAGE is a commitment that two people make to stay together till “Death Do Us Part”. Marriage is a communion of not only two people but two personalities. Their Behavior depends on their personality types. A healthy interaction between couples makes Marriage a Happy & Fulfilling experience.

To have a HAPPY MARRIED LIFE; to make your interactions healthy with your partner; the first & foremost is to know about your own Personality Type; which guides your behavior. Your likes & dislikes depend on your personality type; which may or may not be same as of your partner.

In this blog; we would understand about Personality & Personality Types.

Role of Personality Type in relationships

People of same personality type behave similarly. Therefore, if both couples are of same personality type then their feelings, thinking, behavior, likes & dislikes will be more or less same and hence chances of them having a happy married life are more.

Similarly, people of different personality types behave differently. They think differently, they feel differently, their like & dislikes are different. Therefore, if couples are of different personality types, then there will be variety in their life.

At times, these differences are not viewed as “variety” but more as the issues of conflicts. These differences become the reasons of conflict among couples and the relationship starts to spoil.

The Art of Happy Marriage is to learn to interact effectively with different personality types so that you can view these differences as variety in life. Then one plus one with be greater than two.

What is Personality?

Personality is the combination of special qualities of a person that makes him unique and different from others in the manner he behaves, feels or thinks.

These special qualities are acquired through family values, social conditioning, experiences, future expectations etc. Since these are different for different persons, hence people have different personalities.

Behavior

Our behavior depends on our personality i.e. on our values, conditioning, experiences, expectations etc.

Therefore, people with different personalities have different behavior.

Classification of Personality

Every person is unique as he has unique past experiences, future expectations, family values & conditioning. However, many people in the past have tried to broadly classify the Personality Types so that it is easy to study and understand the normal behavior of people broadly. However, minor variations will always be there from person to person.

There have been many classifications of Personality Types in the past. Some of them are as follows:

Guna as per Indian Yoga

Guna means the nature, quality, virtues, tendency or attributes. In Geeta, Lord Krishna has classified the personality types based on three Gunas that are as follows:

1. Tamasik are those people who have the quality of dullness, inactivity, apathy, inertia, lethargy, laziness.
2. Rajasik are those people who have the quality of passion, activity, being driven, moving, dynamic, in action.
3. Satvik are those people who have the quality of balance, harmony, goodness, purity, universalizing, holistic, positive, peaceful and virtuous.

Varna as per Indian Yoga

As per Hindu Mythology, another Personality Type classification was done on the basis of Varna means type, order or class. The four Varna are as under:

1. Brahmin are those who have interest & passion in learning & teaching.
2. Kshatriya are those who have interest in ruling, war, administration, politics, etc.
3. Vaishya are those who have interest in doing business, agriculture or merchants.
4. Shudhra are those who have interest in serving or helping others.

Suggestibility/ Sexuality Types

Another classification is based on the Suggestibility & Sexuality;

Suggestibility means the way one takes the inputs and Sexuality means the way one behaves.

They are broadly classified into following two categories:

1. Physical are action oriented, likes to show off and are emotionally weak.
2. Emotional are thought oriented, do not like to show off and are emotionally strong.

Ghost Nature

Another method of classification is based on Ghost Nature. It has the following two group of personality types:

“I” Type Personality.  It is further classified into following four categories:

1. “I am Right” type personalities.
2. “I will possess” type personalities.
3. “I will Dominate” type personalities.
4. “I am Justified” type personalities.

“YOU” Type Personality. It is further classified into following four categories:

1. “You are Wrong” type personalities.
2. “You cannot Possess’ type personalities.
3. “You cannot Dominate” type personalities.
4. “You are not Justified” type personalities.

As per Transactional Analysis

Transactional Analysis classifies behavior into the following three categories:

PARENT LIKE

1. Nurturing Parent type are those who are caring & concerned for others.
2. Controlling (or Critical) Parent types are those who want others to behave as per the social norms; makes them understand how to live in a society; have high moral & social values.

ADULT LIKE are those who are rational personalities, talks reasonably & assertively, neither trying to control nor reacting aggressively towards others.

CHILD LIKE

1. Natural Child type are those who like playing, are open and vulnerable. They are largely un-self aware and are characterized by the non-speech noises they make.
2. Little Professor type are those who are curios, exploring new things, trying out new stuff.
3. Adaptive Child type are those who reacts to the world around them; either changing themselves to fit in it or rebelling against the forces they feel.

ABCD Personality Types

This is another way of doing Personality Type Classification. It classifies people into following four Personality Types:

1. A Type Personality are competitive, high achievers and have high sense of time urgency.
2. B Type Personality are relaxed, laid back and are not easily stressed. They can be achievers but not competitors like A Type. They can delay the work, do it in the last moment, procrastinators.
3. C Type Personality love details and spend lot of time trying to find out how things work and hence they are suitable for technical works. They are not at all assertive and always suppress their desires even if they dislike something. They are prone to tremendous stess and at times, depression.
4. D Type Personality are distressed. They are pessimistic and have negative lookout towards life. They have a fear of rejection and hence are socially withdrawn. They suppress their emotions and hence are prone to depression.

MBTI Personality Types

As per MBTI, there are four groups of Personality Types; as under:

1. EXTROVERSION OR INTROVERSION (E OR I): This group focuses on “What is your favorite world – outer world or inner world”? Where do you put your attention and get energy from – People or ideas. Where do you like to spend your time – in outer world of people & things or in your inner world of ideas and images.
2. SENSING OR INTUITION(S OR N): This group focuses on “How do you take information”? Do you prefer to focus on basic information you take in or do you prefer to interpret and add meaning? Do you pay more attention to the information that comes through your five senses or do you pay more attention to the patterns and possibilities that you see in the information you receive?
3. THINKING OR FEELING (T OR F): This group focuses on “Making Decision”. While making decision, do you give priority to logic & consistency or you priority to look at people & social circumstances? Do you like to put more weight on objective principals and impersonal facts or do you put more weight on personal concerns and the people involved.
4. JUDGING OR PERCEIVING (J OR P): This group focuses on “Dealing with outside world”. Do you prefer to get things decided (plan & control) or do you prefer to stay open to new information and options (flexible & spontaneous).

Based on different permutation & combinations of these four groups of two opposites each; there are 16 personality types which have their unique behavior.

Many Other Personality Classifications

There are many more Personality Type Classifications which people have done to try to understand human behavior.

Conclusion

The purpose is not to make you an expert in assessing personality types; but to give you a fair idea that based on different personality types; people behave differently. Therefore, as a Relationship Counselor, I can say that when couples come to me for Relationship Counseling; I invariable observe that the other partner is not wrong but different because of different personality type.

Since we always feel that my behavior is right; then obviously the normal behavior of your partner (if he is of different personality type) would appear wrong.

Therefore, it is important to know your personality type and the normal behavior of other personality types. Then you would be able to appreciate your partner’s behavior, even if it is different.

As a result your married life would become happy.

WE OFFER THE FOLLOWING SERVICES

To make your Marriage Life a Happy & fulfilling experience, we offer the following services, in-person as well as on phone:

1.     Personality Test for Married Couples

We conduct Personality Test for individuals and couples to help you understand about yours and your partner’s personality so that you both are aware of the normal behavior of self and your partner.

2.     Personality Test & Compatibility match to find suitable partner

For those who are seeing each other and are about to marry; we conduct Personality Test for you and your would-be-partner and make you understand the areas where you will behave alike and areas where you would behave & think differently. Accordingly, compatibility match shall be done and assist you in choosing a suitable match for you.

3.     Marital & Premarital COUNSELING

We offer counseling to individuals & couples before and after marriage to help you live a Happy Married Life.

4.     Training “Lifetime of Honeymoon”

We conduct one day training workshop to help you learn the tricks & techniques of Happy Married Life. Besides Lifetime of Honeymoon training; we offer many other training on Happy Relation Training.

5. Blogs on Happy Marriage

We have written the following blogs on HAPPY MARRIAGE. We would be writing more in the near future.

1. Increase Happiness in your Relationship
2. Happy Marriage: 1. Respect The Differences
3. Happy Marriage: 2. Don’t be Judgmental
4. Happy Marriage: Adjustment Spoils the Marriage
5. Happy Marriage: 4. Give & Take Feedback Positively

Please write your comments below.

Wish you all a very happy married life.

Regards,

Dr. Pankaj Gupta

CEO, Conquer The Success

+91 99537 99435

+91 97738 52831