Why to understand VICIOUS CIRCLE OF UNHAPPINESS, when we want happiness?
The very first question that might come to your mind is that we want happiness in our life then why to understand the vicious circle of unhappiness?
Let us try to understand from an example.
We all want to be healthy, but is there anything that can DIRECTLY be done for Health? The answer is NO. Because we are born healthy and there are reasons that make us unhealthy or sick. We can take actions to remove or cure illness and once it is cured, we become healthy automatically.
Similarly, we are born Happy and there are reasons for unhappiness. Nothing can directly be done for happiness. All actions can only be done to get rid of the very reasons of unhappiness and happiness flows automatically.
Happiness is like a spring and the reasons of unhappiness are the stones & rocks that are blocking the flow of the spring. We just have to remove the stones & rocks and the spring of happiness will start flowing automatically.
So, to be happy it is important to understand the VICIOUS CIRCLE OF UNHAPPINESS so that adequate actions are implemented in life to remove them. Happiness will flow on its own.
Vicious Circle of Unhappiness
- We are born dependent and want to become financially independent. Start with having financial security in life and grow to financial freedom and then to financial abundance.
- To achieve the big goal, we set some short term targets like we want good job, or want to make a house, or want to find a suitable partner for marriage, or want to purchase a new car, or score good marks, or get selected in competition, or go on a world tour or any other targets. These targets will be completed in future.
- We have learning, knowledge and wisdom that come from the experiences of our past.
- Based on our targets of the future and our experiences from the past; we make the strategy in the present and accordingly take the right decisions. Taking decision means to evaluate all the available choices and choose the best one out of them.
- Next step is to make an action plan with responsibilities & time schedule.
- Then we implement the actions, review them periodically.
- Finally the result comes which may or may not be in line with our expectation or targets or goals.
If result is as per our expectations or targets
If the result is as per our expectations, as per our set targets, we feel happy.
If result is not as per our expectations
If the result is not as per our expectation, we feel unhappy.
This unhappiness might result into anxiety and depression.
When we are in Anxiety or depression, we lack motivation and hence we are not in the right frame of mind to implement the actions.
When implementation reduces, the possibility of the result not as per our expectation increases. And this gives rise to further anxiety and depression.
As a result the unhappiness increase as the time passes by.
You would have seen people, once they fail, it is very difficult for them to come out of that shock and back in action.
Whether we are successful or not, we get negative emotions
When we are Successful
We have seen above that when the result is as per our expectations, we become successful and feel happy.
When we are successful then following emotions trigger:
- Fear of losing what we have achieved. We get so much attached with people or things that are in our possession that there is a constant fear of losing them.
- Greed to getting more and more. When we buy a new car it gives us happiness but very soon we do not derive any happiness from it and get a feeling of getting a better one, even though there is no need.
Even we are successful, the moment these emotions grip us, we start feeling UNHAPPY.
When we are not Successful
In case the result is not as per our expectations, we are not successful.
There is a high probability of not becoming successful because it is not only our efforts and action that bring result, but a lot of other contributory factors that are not in our control.
When we are not successful then the following emotions trigger:
- Anyone, whom we feel, is responsible for our failure, we get Angry.
- If we ourselves are responsible for not becoming successful, we get a feeling of guilt.
- Those who have become successful, we get a feeling of jealousy.
- This jealousy, sometimes, grows to the level of hatred.
If we are not successful, we are gripped with these negative emotions and become unhappy.
Negative Emotions are a reason of many diseases
You might be aware about Psychosomatic diseases. They are those diseases which have the roots in our mind and the manifestation is on the body, in the form of disease.
Let us understand by an example.
Suppose you had a hot argument with one of your friends during the day. When you will reach your bed in the night, you will get many thoughts related to that. “He should not have done that; I have been so good to him but he is so mean and rude; I will teach him a lesson” etc. etc.
Because of these thoughts running in your mind, you will not be able to get proper sleep. If there is no proper sleep, the next day you will not feel fresh, you might also have indigestion or constipation or acidity.
This indigestion, constipation, acidity, lack of sleep etc. will cause various another diseases like High Blood Pressure, Diabetes, Overweight, Gastric problems, gout, ulcers, tumors even cancer.
These diseases are known as Psychosomatic diseases, as they have origin in mind (thoughts because of arguments with friends) but they are manifested on body in the form of diseases.
You will be surprised to know that nearly 90% of the diseases today, are Psychosomatic in nature.
Now we take medicines and these medicines have their side effect.
To cure these side effects, we need more medicines.
You can analyze from your life experiences that as the age grows, our baggage of unhappiness & negative emotions grows heavier and heavier and we get sick.
Nowadays many people above the age of 35 years have to take regular medicines for insomnia, BP, diabetes, antacid etc. As the age grows the number of medicines per day increases.
AN IMPORTANT QUESTION
Is there a way out or a solution to become Successful & Happy without affecting our health.
“CONQUER THE SUCCESS” training is the right solution
After understanding the VICIOUS CIRCLE OF UNHAPPINESS from my own life experiences, I have designed a training Conquer The Success to help individuals to come out of this VICIOUS CIRCLE OF UNHAPPINESS.
Conquer The Success Training has 6 modules. Each module is of 1 day.
- Module 1: Understanding Success & Happiness and move in the right direction.
- Module 2: How to take important decisions & make choices that lead us to Success. If we are not able to take the decisions, we are likely to enter into anxiety.
- Module 3: How to implement the decision. Because, planning followed by implementation leads to Success, else Depression.
- Module 4: How to keep your self Healthy.
- Module 5: How to keep cordial relations with family, friends & at workplace.
- Module 6: How to be happy, joyful & celebration in life through meditation. How to get rid of the negative emotions.
Please visit Conquer The Success Training for more details about the training.
Should you have any queries, please join our Discussion Forum and post your queries there. We shall take them up.
We invite you to attend Conquer The Success Training. I can assure you that these 6 days will transform your life and take it to new heights of Success & Happiness.
Wish you a life full of Success & Happiness.
NOTE: MY EARLIER BLOGS ON SUCCESS & HAPPINESS
- Conquer The Success – For Success & Happiness
- Meet Mr. Successful
- Success & Happiness: Which is more important?
- Blueprint of Success & Happiness
- Why meditation is important for success & happiness
- Taking The Right Decision
- Add Wings to your Performance on Implementation of decisions.
You may see my other blogs on Conquer The Success Blogs.
With best regards,
Dr. Pankaj Gupta
CEO, Conquer The Success