HAPPY MARRIAGE: 4. Give & Take Feedback Positively

/, Marriage Counseling/HAPPY MARRIAGE: 4. Give & Take Feedback Positively

For Happy Marriage, we have discussed in my earlier blog “Increase Happiness in Your Relationshipsthat there is only one single rule:

     “UNDERSTAND THE OTHER AND ACCEPT THE WAY HE/SHE IS”

In this article we shall discuss the 4th recommendation for Happy Marriage.

You may see my earlier three recommendations on Conquer The Success Blogs .

RECOMMENDATION 4: Give & Take Feedback Positively

As a Marriage Counselor, another common reason of unhappiness among couples, that I have experienced is that we lack the art of Taking & Giving feedback.

Every Person Has Good & Bad qualities

When two people live together, it is very natural that we would observe certain GOOD things in our partner and certain BAD things.

We know that every person has good & bad qualities.

Unfortunately, we have been conditioned from early childhood that we should not say bad things to anyone.

Now what happens.

In the new relationship or the courtship period, we comfortably communicate “The Good” of our partner but, because of our conditioning, we hesitate to communicate “The Bad”. And the relationship continuous happily.

Slowly & steadily, the list of “The Bad” keeps on increasing in our subconscious mind, with our hesitation to communicate.

I am sure; you would have heard people saying “If I tell him the truth, he will feel bad. He is not matured enough to listen the truth”.

Since we are only communicating “The Good”, we are giving him an impression that he is good. I like him very much.

Your partner also does the same

Now if you see from your partner’s perspective. He is also having the same conditioning and hence behaving similar to you.

Only communicating what he likes about you and not what he dislikes.

You also get to have the impression that you are good.

As the relationship grows older

As the relationship grows older, this accumulated “The Bad” in our subconscious mind starts to cast its shadow.

So much of “The Bad” would have accumulated by now in your subconscious mind that “The Good” is not even visible.

Since, we were only communicating “The Good” till now, the communication reduces.

The other starts to get the impression that I have changed.

You would have heard people saying “You are not like before, you have changed. Now you do not love me as before”

It is happening with both.

As a result, both start adjusting with each other and reduce talking or communication.

Avoidance become very common. Both of them will keep themselves busy in other activities so that they have little time left for the other.

Movie remains the only safe means of entertainment because you are together and still no opportunity to talk to each other.

The Outburst

And unfortunately, a day comes when all this accumulated negative emotions, “The Bad” outburst in the form of anger. And when the outburst happens, it take away the relationship, family, kids, everything.

And it is not that very day when the outburst happens, but all the time collectively, when we have been accommodating “The Bad”.

It is neither uncommon nor surprising that people go for divorce every after 10 or more years of marriage.

A line of caution before the recommendations

Before I proceed with my recommendations, I want to caution you, that these recommendations are for you and not for your partner.

As a marriage counselor, it is my very common experience that people use these recommendations not to change themselves but to evaluate the partner’s mistakes and logically prove him wrong.

Please do not do that.

The Recommendation

I would recommend the following. 

  • Give an environment to your partner where he feels equally comfortable and at ease in giving positive as well as negative feedback to you. Ask for your improvement areas. Motivate him to do so. Tell him that feedback improves the relationship.
  • Do not react differently, if he shares any negative feedback or communicate what he feels bad about you.
  • When you find something wrong, give him the feedback in very positive, respectable, polite and healthy manner; with the intention only to communicate your feelings and not to make him feel bad or guilty.

If you find these recommendations sensible, then do not wait.

Immediately, start implementing in your life.

I am sure; if you practice, your marriage life can really be a happy & a fulfilling experience.

My TV Interview Clip on the subject

Stay connected,

I will come up with my next recommendation in my next blog.

Attend Training for Happy Marriage: Mere Humsafar

If you are seeing someone or already married, we invite you to attend Mere Humsafar Training. It is one day workshop that will make your marriage life happy & a life-long fulfilling experience.

This training covers the following aspects:

  1. Know yourself. There is a psychometric test to know about your personality and hence your natural behavior.
  2. Different personality types and there normal behavior. It shall help to know your partner better.
  3. Understand your partner.
  4. Practical tips to deal with the persons of different personalities & keeping happy relataions.

As an outcome of this training, you will experience that ACCEPTING HIM THE WAY HE IS SHALL BE SPONTANEOUS.

You may visit our website and attend our other TRAINING WORKSHOPS.

Marriage Counseling & Premarital Counseling

We also provide Relationship counseling sessions for Married Couples and for those who are seeing each other.

Individuals or couples can contact for counseling.

Choose the Right Life Partner

If you are not married yet and are looking for a right life partner, we can help you, through psychometric testing, training & counseling, to select the right life partner and enlighten you as to how to handle the differences.

If you have any queries, please Sign Up our Discussion Forum and post your query there.

We request you to please give your feedback in comment box, whether you like the blog or not or any feedback & suggestions. This shall give a direction whether or not to continue writing on Happy Married Life.

You may also let us know any other topic of your interest in the comment box or discussion forum.

We shall try to take it up in the future communications.

Wish you a very Happy Married Life;

With love & regards,

Dr. Pankaj Gupta

Conquer The Success

9953799435

2018-10-30T13:38:06+00:00

36 Comments

  1. Jim October 29, 2018 at 12:05 am - Reply

    I am sure this piece of writing has touched all the internet viewers, its really really fastidious post on building up new webpage.
    I’ve been surfing online more than 4 hours today, yet I
    never found any interesting article like yours.
    It’s pretty worth enough for me. In my view,
    if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be much more useful than ever before.
    It is appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to
    be happy. I’ve read this post and if I could I desire to suggest you some interesting things or suggestions.
    Perhaps you could write next articles referring to this article.
    I want to read even more things about it! http://cspan.org

    • Dr Pankaj Gupta October 30, 2018 at 1:37 pm - Reply

      Thanks Mr. Jim for your lovely & positive feedback.
      Your feedback gives me motivation to keep writing further on Happy Relationship.
      I will sure be writing on this topic.
      Secondly, it would be my honor to have your valuable suggestions.
      Do write to me.
      Thanks once again.

  2. Google March 12, 2019 at 5:28 pm - Reply

    Google

    Sites of interest we’ve a link to.

  3. Google March 17, 2019 at 1:02 pm - Reply

    Google

    Here are some links to web pages that we link to since we consider they may be worth visiting.

  4. folorentorium April 1, 2019 at 8:44 pm - Reply

    I’m not sure where you are getting your information, but great topic. I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thanks for excellent info I was looking for this information for my mission.

    • conquerthesuccess April 2, 2019 at 3:25 am - Reply

      You are most welcome.

    • conquerthesuccess April 2, 2019 at 3:34 am - Reply

      Wish you all the best

  5. minecraft April 11, 2019 at 12:31 am - Reply

    Remarkable! Its truly awesome paragraph, I have got much clear idea concerning from this
    article.

  6. minecraft April 11, 2019 at 12:33 am - Reply

    Ahaa, its fastidious conversation concerning this article at this place at this blog,
    I have read all that, so at this time me also commenting
    at this place.

  7. tinyurl.com April 15, 2019 at 1:55 pm - Reply

    Hello everyone, it’s my first pay a visit at this site,
    and article is genuinely fruitful designed for me, keep up posting these types of content.

  8. minecraft April 16, 2019 at 2:05 pm - Reply

    Very nice write-up. I certainly appreciate this site. Keep it up!

  9. minecraft April 17, 2019 at 2:56 pm - Reply

    Great beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your site, how could i subscribe for a
    weblog web site? The account helped me a applicable deal.
    I had been a little bit familiar of this your broadcast offered vibrant transparent concept

  10. minecraft April 21, 2019 at 1:28 pm - Reply

    If you would like to take a great deal from this post then you have to apply these
    strategies to your won blog.

  11. minecraft April 22, 2019 at 1:49 pm - Reply

    I was more than happy to discover this site. I want to to thank you
    for your time due to this wonderful read!! I definitely loved every bit of it and
    i also have you saved as a favorite to check out new things on your website.

  12. minecraft April 24, 2019 at 2:32 am - Reply

    When some one searches for his necessary thing, so he/she
    wants to be available that in detail, thus that thing is
    maintained over here.

  13. gamefly May 2, 2019 at 1:44 pm - Reply

    Every weekend i used to pay a quick visit this web page,
    because i want enjoyment, as this this site conations actually fastidious funny data too.

  14. gamefly May 2, 2019 at 11:57 pm - Reply

    I would like to thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this blog.
    I really hope to check out the same high-grade blog posts
    by you in the future as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has motivated me to get my own site
    now 😉

  15. gamefly May 3, 2019 at 2:46 am - Reply

    Piece of writing writing is also a fun, if you be acquainted with
    after that you can write or else it is difficult to
    write.

  16. gamefly May 3, 2019 at 11:24 am - Reply

    Great blog here! Also your site loads up fast! What host are you using?
    Can I get your affiliate link to your host?
    I wish my site loaded up as fast as yours lol

  17. acrylic nails breda May 8, 2019 at 8:09 pm - Reply

    Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it.

    Look advanced to more added agreeable from you! By
    the way, how could we communicate?

  18. minecraft download pc May 8, 2019 at 10:08 pm - Reply

    Aw, this was an incredibly good post. Spending some time and actual effort to
    generate a really good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a lot and don’t seem to get anything done.

  19. download minecraft free May 9, 2019 at 1:25 pm - Reply

    Heya i’m for the first time here. I found this board and I find It really useful & it helped
    me out much. I hope to give something back and aid others like you aided me.

  20. minecraft download pc May 10, 2019 at 1:16 pm - Reply

    First of all I want to say superb blog! I had a quick question that I’d like to ask if you don’t mind.
    I was curious to find out how you center yourself and clear your mind
    before writing. I’ve had trouble clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts out there.
    I do enjoy writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are lost just trying to figure out
    how to begin. Any suggestions or hints? Thanks!

  21. g May 10, 2019 at 6:46 pm - Reply

    Hey I am so grateful I found your weblog, I really found you by
    accident, while I was searching on Yahoo for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just
    like to say thank you for a marvelous post and a all
    round thrilling blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read it all
    at the minute but I have bookmarked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so
    when I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the fantastic
    b.

  22. g May 11, 2019 at 6:15 pm - Reply

    It’s hard to come by experienced people
    on this subject, however, you seem like you know what
    you’re talking about! Thanks

  23. g May 12, 2019 at 10:57 am - Reply

    Great blog you have got here.. It’s hard to find good quality
    writing like yours these days. I really appreciate people
    like you! Take care!!

  24. g May 12, 2019 at 8:02 pm - Reply

    Wonderful work! This is the kind of information that are supposed to be shared around the internet.

    Disgrace on the seek engines for no longer positioning this put up upper!

    Come on over and talk over with my website . Thank you =)

  25. g May 13, 2019 at 7:19 am - Reply

    I am extremely inspired with your writing talents and also with the structure for your
    weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself?

    Either way stay up the excellent high quality writing, it’s rare to peer a nice weblog like this one nowadays..

  26. g May 13, 2019 at 1:57 pm - Reply

    I needed to thank you for this excellent read!!

    I definitely loved every bit of it. I have got you saved as
    a favorite to look at new things you post…

  27. free minecraft download May 13, 2019 at 3:52 pm - Reply

    If you are going for finest contents like myself, just go to see this web page daily since it
    gives quality contents, thanks

  28. download minecraft May 13, 2019 at 11:53 pm - Reply

    What’s Taking place i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve found It absolutely useful and
    it has aided me out loads. I hope to contribute & help other users
    like its aided me. Great job.

  29. free minecraft May 15, 2019 at 3:45 am - Reply

    Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an really long comment but
    after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear.
    Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyhow, just
    wanted to say fantastic blog!

  30. minecraft free download pc May 15, 2019 at 8:16 am - Reply

    It’s awesome to pay a visit this web site and reading the views of all mates concerning this post, while I am also eager of getting
    experience.

  31. free minecraft May 16, 2019 at 2:44 am - Reply

    Hey I am so excited I found your weblog, I really found you by mistake, while I was looking on Askjeeve for something
    else, Regardless I am here now and would just like
    to say thanks for a remarkable post and a all round entertaining blog
    (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read through it all at the moment but I
    have bookmarked it and also added your RSS feeds, so
    when I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please
    do keep up the fantastic jo.

  32. download minecraft pc May 16, 2019 at 7:08 am - Reply

    Wow, awesome blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?

    you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site is magnificent, let alone the
    content!

  33. gamefly free trial May 30, 2019 at 4:11 am - Reply

    Fantastic items from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff prior to and you’re simply too magnificent.
    I really like what you’ve received right here, really like what you’re stating and the way in which through which you assert it.
    You make it entertaining and you continue to care for to keep it wise.
    I can not wait to learn far more from you. That is actually a
    tremendous web site.

Leave A Comment